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The Fudge That Got Away

I’m putting up some pictures of recent work (somewhat recent? recent-ish? No visible mold?). There isn’t a lot of it and may not be more for a while, for I am currently studio-free and time-free and a couple of other frees too.

But there’s no reason to let perfectly serviceable blog fodder go to waste.

I present to you: Remarkable Fudge.

Acrylic, oil and alkyd on primed paper. It’s, oh, 24” by 30” or so. One of these days I’ll measure.

I did this a year ago, but it’s a throwback to my art college days, when I made a series of very large food paintings using images from my collection of vintage recipe books. I was particularly fond of off-register, over-saturated pictures with ridiculous props and questionable food appeal. 

I haven’t done a food painting in years, but when Kate and I realized that HOLY SMOKESwe’re doing an auction for Haiti and it’s going to be big and it has to happen a week from now if we want to get matching government funds, I decided to make a new painting for it (on top of the eighteen hour days of email mayhemmery and frenzied goodwill). To get it done in time, the painting had to be about something I knew well, so an off-register, over-saturated picture with ridiculous props and questionable food appeal was in order. My safe place.

I spent a few busy nights in the studio-with-the-ghosts and one loud night with a Zombie Sex Cult gig going on in the adjoining common room.

I’m not sure how the ghosts felt about that.

Athough I finished Remarkable Fudge in time, it never made it into the auction.  By the end of the week we were turning donations away because we had so many, and my stuff… well.  It’s not everybody’s cup of tea.

For example, this fine piece, Self Portrait With Teeth, only got one bid. From one of my oldest friends, who loves me and my dentistry.

Self Portrait With Fever didn’t get any bids at all.


Some people just don’t want a beautiful, original, larger-than-life sized hallucinating head glowering above their sofa.

Apparently.

Here she is, installed at the John V. Hicks gallery this summer as part of the I.D. V. 6.0 show.

Here she is, installed at the John V. Hicks gallery this summer as part of the I.D. V. 6.0 show.

I never did show you this finished, did I? Well then:
Annunciation (a work in progress)
Oil and alkyd on unstretched canvas, 2010 
I haven’t measured it yet, so let’s say life sized. 

I never did show you this finished, did I? Well then:

Annunciation (a work in progress)

Oil and alkyd on unstretched canvas, 2010 

I haven’t measured it yet, so let’s say life sized. 

Some stray pixels from summer.  
Here we are in a new year, hooray to all of us.  We’ve made it.

Some stray pixels from summer.  

Here we are in a new year, hooray to all of us.  We’ve made it.

I have a small bit of writing up at the Hedge today.  I hope you’re well.

I have a small bit of writing up at the Hedge today.  I hope you’re well.

and a partridge in a pear tree

This week in the extended Fantastica family, by the numbers:

flooded basement: 1

enemas: 1

chemotherapy rounds: 1

worrisome mother-daughter blowups: 1, but it felt like 4 because I am an efficient jerk

late night trips to the E.R.: 2

people slated for eye surgery: 3*

school fiascos, including band concert disasters due to faulty oboe reeds: 3 and counting

a child in tears: numerous

Christmas trees up: 1/2

Still, feeling weirdly buoyant about life.  For I am a clerk, and I got paid yesterday, and promptly bought myself some fancy cheese.

And how are you, my dears?

*edited to add, because I forgot it when I posted this

Sometimes the Plot Doesn’t Work

I don’t know how to put words on this thing.  Maybe because it looks like failure from where you sit, flushes plot down the crapper, is grotesque on one side and completely ordinary on the other.

I got a part-time job as a grocery store clerk.  I wear a red vest and a name tag.

(Okay, now I’m giggling.)

On the day I turned forty (FORTY!) I applied for a job on a whim, promptly got hired by virtue of not having a criminal record, and have since been a terror with the pallet jack and that little pricing gun.  

I don’t know what comes next.  I should feel some alarm about throwing my life around in such a random way, but what I actually feel is the hot release of stepping into a truckstop after hours of white-knuckle highway driving.  Blizzard, black ice, knock in the engine, kids scared silent in the back seat.

I got paid the other day.  It made me cry with relief.  And I finally had an explanation for this thing I’ve done:

I hate being self-employed more than I love being an artist.

My dad, Subash, died suddenly seven years ago today. 
I am exhausted and in an in-between brain place, a vestibule really, so it’s hard to sit down and write.  But:
Both his anger and his compassion ran hot.
He was an excellent listener.
And an extravagant worrier.
He did kind things for people in secret.  We found out about some of them after he died.
He loved us.
He loved us.

My dad, Subash, died suddenly seven years ago today. 

I am exhausted and in an in-between brain place, a vestibule really, so it’s hard to sit down and write.  But:

Both his anger and his compassion ran hot.

He was an excellent listener.

And an extravagant worrier.

He did kind things for people in secret.  We found out about some of them after he died.

He loved us.

He loved us.

One of the regular features at the Hedge Society is Our Daily Bird; a tidbit of art or story or music that has something avian about it.  I went hunting for Daily Birds the other day, and found this egg at the National Film Board’s online archive

I would love to be adept with the personal blog.  I don’t know how; the cat’s got my digital tongue.  I blister with the slow-burning fret of wanting to be seen and understood and not having the tools to get there, where you are, from this lonely here.

Until I figure out how to do that, this video is my proxy.

The Fudge That Got Away
and a partridge in a pear tree
Sometimes the Plot Doesn’t Work

About:

Hi, I'm René.  First I was an artist.  Then I became a mom.  Then, as it turned out, I was an autism mom.  Now I'm an artist again.

(I'm still a mom.)

This is a place to figure it all out. Or maybe not 'figure it all out' so much as 'sit back and watch the cage match'.

Fruityfantastica* can be roughly divided into two categories: marvellous stuff of all kinds done by other people, and my own work.

If you want to see other people's stuff, you can go here: other people are wonderful.
My studio work, bits of writing & other oddments are here: I made this.
To cut out the nonsense and go straight to the studio, use this shortcut: studio work.

I'm also a contributor at the Hedge Society. What is a Hedge Society, you ask? It's a group of friends paying attention to things that are hopeful, beautiful, silly, tasty, helpful, interesting, infuriating, ordinary, and sometimes y.

You can email me:  fruityfantastica(at)gmail(dot)com
We can get acquainted on Twitter.
You can subscribe to my RSS feed. But only if you want to.

...

*Fruity Fantastica was my Tetris high score name. I was a pretty good Tetris player, and if you think that's bluster just go ahead and ask Meaty Magnifico about it. Later, Fruityfantastica became a code word for my potential to be something better than I was. Now it's a hairshirt I wear online to remind myself that I am also ridiculous.

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